Can I Make a Long Distance Relationship Work in College?

Many graduating seniors are faced with a difficult decision as they head off to a different college than their boyfriend or girlfriend– to attempt a long term relationship or to end what they’ve had going for who knows how long. This is probably one of the most difficult decisions that an 18 year will have to make. I have a fairly strong opinion on the subject of long distance relationships from personal experience and from seeing what my friends have gone through this first semester of college.

All through high school I was very against long distance relationships in college. Even though I dated a guy for the majority of high school, I knew the whole time that we wouldn’t try to stay together when we headed our separate ways. I felt strongly about this for a few reasons. First of all, high school relationships tend to be somewhat immature – although it doesn’t seem so at the time, what you experience with a high school sweetheart is much different than the experiences you will have in college. Many of my friends tried to do this and because of trust issues and lack of time together, they ended up breaking up with their high school sweethearts during the first semester of college. You also have be mature enough to know why you are staying with the person. Many people just stay together because it is what they are comfortable with and are scared to lose the person, but there are millions of people out there that are worth taking the time to meet.

Although I was always against long distance relationships in college, I am currently going against everything I thought I would do and I am dating a guy from another school. Although every how-to book about college will tell you long distance relationships are disastrous, I disagree as long as the relationship follows a few key rules. First of all, you must trust each other – if not you will both be miserable. Secondly, you have to allow each other to live individual lives, and be understanding of the other person’s schedule and social life. A few of my friends didn’t go out on the weekends at all in college simply because they had boyfriends at another school and this ended up being a huge mistake. They have since broken up with their boyfriends, and now are having trouble fitting into a social group because they missed the initial time when everyone was meeting new people.

Another key to a long distance relationship is finding the perfect balance with sacrifices. You will have to make some sacrifices, such as time spent to visit each other, but you should not be sacrificing academics or your social life in college for a significant other at a different school. Also, if you are trying to make something like this work, you need to take on a ‘if it was meant to be it will be’ type of attitude. You shouldn’t feel like you are trying to make things work – if it’s that important and your relationship is healthy, it will work on its own.

One last comment – if you never get to see each other it simply won’t work. You will spend too much time missing each other and wasting time on the phone that it will get out of hand. Therefore, long distance relationships should be kept to a reasonable distance. In the same state – alright. Indiana to Florida – I would consider seeing what else is out there.