Many graduating seniors are faced with a difficult decision as they head off to a different college than their boyfriend or girlfriend– to attempt a long term relationship or to end what they’ve had going for who knows how long. This is probably one of the most difficult decisions that an 18 year will have to make. I have a fairly strong opinion on the subject of long distance relationships from personal experience and from seeing what my friends have gone through this first semester of college.
All through high school I was very against long distance relationships in college. Even though I dated a guy for the majority of high school, I knew the whole time that we wouldn’t try to stay together when we headed our separate ways. I felt strongly about this for a few reasons. First of all, high school relationships tend to be somewhat immature – although it doesn’t seem so at the time, what you experience with a high school sweetheart is much different than the experiences you will have in college. Many of my friends tried to do this and because of trust issues and lack of time together, they ended up breaking up with their high school sweethearts during the first semester of college. You also have be mature enough to know why you are staying with the person. Many people just stay together because it is what they are comfortable with and are scared to lose the person, but there are millions of people out there that are worth taking the time to meet.
Although I was always against long distance relationships in college, I am currently going against everything I thought I would do and I am dating a guy from another school. Although every how-to book about college will tell you long distance relationships are disastrous, I disagree as long as the relationship follows a few key rules. First of all, you must trust each other – if not you will both be miserable. Secondly, you have to allow each other to live individual lives, and be understanding of the other person’s schedule and social life. A few of my friends didn’t go out on the weekends at all in college simply because they had boyfriends at another school and this ended up being a huge mistake. They have since broken up with their boyfriends, and now are having trouble fitting into a social group because they missed the initial time when everyone was meeting new people.
Another key to a long distance relationship is finding the perfect balance with sacrifices. You will have to make some sacrifices, such as time spent to visit each other, but you should not be sacrificing academics or your social life in college for a significant other at a different school. Also, if you are trying to make something like this work, you need to take on a ‘if it was meant to be it will be’ type of attitude. You shouldn’t feel like you are trying to make things work – if it’s that important and your relationship is healthy, it will work on its own.
One last comment – if you never get to see each other it simply won’t work. You will spend too much time missing each other and wasting time on the phone that it will get out of hand. Therefore, long distance relationships should be kept to a reasonable distance. In the same state – alright. Indiana to Florida – I would consider seeing what else is out there.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Housing Bonanza!
It is hard to believe that it’s already time to start looking into housing for next year. Recently I have been looking at apartments with my two suite mates. There are so many aspects to consider, that it can sometimes be overwhelming. Whether you’re ready to spread your wings and live on your own in an apartment or take the plunge into Purdue’s Greek life, the great thing about this university is that the choices are certainly not limited.
Things to think about when considering your housing options for next year:
- Who do you want to live with?
- Do you want to live in a dorm, sorority/fraternity, co-op, apartment, or house?
- How much you can afford per month for rent?
- How close do you want to be to campus?
- Are you willing to cook your own meals and clean your own bathrooms?
If you choose a house or an apartment you need to consider:
1. Number of bedrooms and bathroom?
2. Available parking and cost
3. Utilities included?
4. 10 or 12 month lease and policy on subleasing
5. Wash and dryer included or nearby
6. Furnished or unfurnished
7. Safe location
8. What floor you want to live on
9. Reliable and timely maintenance
10. Trustworthy landlords
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Ways to Beat Homesickness
Adjusting to college is not easy; it’s so simple to want to just revert back to your old life in high school but unfortunately you can’t. When I first came to college I had a hard time adapting to the new people and new atmosphere. I found myself wanting to go home every weekend to see my family and having things back to the way they used to be. In the article Ten Helpful Hints to Beat College Homesickness explains ways to beat homesickness.
First of all, get involved this is the easiest way to get your mind off the way things used to be. Join a club or a sport, you will instantly meet new people and have fun while doing it. The article states, “Social groups and events are a core part of your college experience. Just glance at a campus calendar or student newspaper to find out what's happening at your school. Attend a sporting event, concert or campus sponsored program.”
Another idea is go out with your friends. It’s very easy to make friends with people in your dorm who are like you and also have similar interests. Keeping busy will keep your mind off being homesick. The article states, “An older student or someone you can confide in can help make your transition from home a little easier. You might even discover your friend is struggling with the same problems as you.” You could also try keeping in touch with your family. It can be difficult not being able to see them everyday, calling them a couple times a week or sending emails will help you stay in touch and feel less disconnected with them.
You could also try contacting an old friend. The article states, “Going separate ways after high school graduation can be a little depressing. After all, these are your friends you've grown up with, survived the last four years of high school with, and shared experiences with like your first kiss, Mr. Boring's history class, prom and lots of other high school memories. But however far apart for school, your friendship isn't over. Plan to do something with your old friends when you are home during a break. You will look forward to the reunion and enjoy remembering old times together.” I’ve found this especially helpful, whenever I’m feeling down I just call my good friends from high school and they are always able to brighten my day. If your feelings homesick hopefully these tips help you to cope and make you college experience the best four years of your life.
First of all, get involved this is the easiest way to get your mind off the way things used to be. Join a club or a sport, you will instantly meet new people and have fun while doing it. The article states, “Social groups and events are a core part of your college experience. Just glance at a campus calendar or student newspaper to find out what's happening at your school. Attend a sporting event, concert or campus sponsored program.”
Another idea is go out with your friends. It’s very easy to make friends with people in your dorm who are like you and also have similar interests. Keeping busy will keep your mind off being homesick. The article states, “An older student or someone you can confide in can help make your transition from home a little easier. You might even discover your friend is struggling with the same problems as you.” You could also try keeping in touch with your family. It can be difficult not being able to see them everyday, calling them a couple times a week or sending emails will help you stay in touch and feel less disconnected with them.
You could also try contacting an old friend. The article states, “Going separate ways after high school graduation can be a little depressing. After all, these are your friends you've grown up with, survived the last four years of high school with, and shared experiences with like your first kiss, Mr. Boring's history class, prom and lots of other high school memories. But however far apart for school, your friendship isn't over. Plan to do something with your old friends when you are home during a break. You will look forward to the reunion and enjoy remembering old times together.” I’ve found this especially helpful, whenever I’m feeling down I just call my good friends from high school and they are always able to brighten my day. If your feelings homesick hopefully these tips help you to cope and make you college experience the best four years of your life.
Not Organized? Read This
Organization has never been easy for me and college doesn’t make it any easier. I can’t even remember how many times I misplaced assignments in high school. In high school a missed assignment was not that big of a deal, but in college it has a much bigger impact on your grade. You have to stay organized to succeed. It took me only took a couple weeks in college to realize I would have to change my old habits to be able to excel in college. Here are a few tips that helped me and hopefully they will help you too:
1. Use your planner. This is a great way to stay on top of all your assignments, appointments, meetings etc. I never used a daily planner until I went to college. I realized it really helped me remember what was due and when. It’s also a good idea to have a calendar hanging in your room. Put it in a place where you can easily see it so you’ll remember any important dates.
2. Check your email. It’s a good way to keep in touch with you teachers. Usually sometime within the first couple days of class your professors will give out their emails, I strongly suggest writing them down. I know it’s helped me if I’ve missed a class or am having trouble with assignments. If you’ve joined any clubs, fraternities, or sororities you will constantly be getting emails since that’s their main form of communication.
3. Have a binder for each class. This will help you keep you’re assignments for each class separate. I also find it helpful to have each binder a different color so you will easily recognize what binder is for what class. There has been so many times where I have grabbed the wrong binder because they all look similar.
4. Have a place for everything. It’s a good idea to have all your personal items in one area, and you school books in another. You have enough stuff to worry about and trying to find something doesn’t have to be one of them. I use the bottom drawer in my dresser to store all of my school material, so when I’m in a hurry I can easily grab it.
5. Don’t procrastinate. There’s nothing worse then having so many things to do and have not enough time to do them. The article How to Stop Procrastinating suggests setting deadlines and not letting yourself break them, also do unpleasant tasks first to get them out of the way. This will make you more motivated to get the easier things done.
6. First things first. Do the most important things first. Make sure you get assignments done before you have leisure time. It’s also helpful to make a list of things you need to get done; this will help you evaluate which ones are most important.
1. Use your planner. This is a great way to stay on top of all your assignments, appointments, meetings etc. I never used a daily planner until I went to college. I realized it really helped me remember what was due and when. It’s also a good idea to have a calendar hanging in your room. Put it in a place where you can easily see it so you’ll remember any important dates.
2. Check your email. It’s a good way to keep in touch with you teachers. Usually sometime within the first couple days of class your professors will give out their emails, I strongly suggest writing them down. I know it’s helped me if I’ve missed a class or am having trouble with assignments. If you’ve joined any clubs, fraternities, or sororities you will constantly be getting emails since that’s their main form of communication.
3. Have a binder for each class. This will help you keep you’re assignments for each class separate. I also find it helpful to have each binder a different color so you will easily recognize what binder is for what class. There has been so many times where I have grabbed the wrong binder because they all look similar.
4. Have a place for everything. It’s a good idea to have all your personal items in one area, and you school books in another. You have enough stuff to worry about and trying to find something doesn’t have to be one of them. I use the bottom drawer in my dresser to store all of my school material, so when I’m in a hurry I can easily grab it.
5. Don’t procrastinate. There’s nothing worse then having so many things to do and have not enough time to do them. The article How to Stop Procrastinating suggests setting deadlines and not letting yourself break them, also do unpleasant tasks first to get them out of the way. This will make you more motivated to get the easier things done.
6. First things first. Do the most important things first. Make sure you get assignments done before you have leisure time. It’s also helpful to make a list of things you need to get done; this will help you evaluate which ones are most important.
Cleaning Out
Cleaning out and getting organized makes me feel really good. Yesterday I took some time to clean out my ever expanding (practically exploding) closet and my desk. I really like to be organized and have everything put in its place, but when I get busy it is hard to stay organized especially when your laundry is taking up half your closest as mine was. I had a great sense of accomplishment once I finished cleaning my closet and desk. It felt really good to de-clutter everything. I threw stuff away I didn’t realize I still had, and I reorganized my closet so that everything had its own place again. I definitely feel more on top of things and more productive. Things are no longer falling out of my closet when I open it, and I don’t have to sort through the massive pile on my desk to find what I am looking for.
As a college student I would encourage you to take a few moments to de-clutter your room. I don’t know what it is about cleaning out, but you’ll feel a lot better after you do, I promise.
Test Taking Strategies
Most kids in high school get a little stressed out over tests. Even though these tests can be somewhat intimidating, most high schoolers face a rude awakening when they take their first college exam. Not only are college exams more difficult, they are also worth a very significant part of your grade. I looked up a few test taking strategies online that I thought were kind of interesting…
Dump your brain. When you first get your test, write down any information that is difficult to remember such as formulas, dates, keywords, etc. on the back of the test. Then, you can reference it while you’re taking the test without worrying if you’ll remember it correctly.
Skim through the entire test. When you first get your test, skim through the entire test and answer all of the questions that you can answer quickly and easily.
Skip the questions you don’t know. Don’t waste time on questions you’re unsure of. Mark them with question marks and move on.
Double check your work. If you have extra time after you’ve finished the exam, take a few minutes to double check your answers, make sure you’ve followed all the directions, and haven’t skipped any pages.
Look elsewhere on the test for answers. Sometimes the answer to one question may be found on another section or question of the test worded differently.
Pace yourself. Being able to take a test quickly yet carefully is essential. If necessary, wear a watch or periodically keep your eye on the clock so you are aware of your time left. Also, don’t get anxious if you hear other students finishing their tests early.
Ask questions. If you’re confused about the wording or meaning of a question, ask your professor. Don’t risk getting a question wrong because you misunderstood it.
Carefully read all of the directions. Most students get a lot of points taken off because they were careless and didn’t fully read all of the directions.
Follow your gut instinct. Most of the times when students second guess themselves, they choose the wrong answer.
Relax. It is important to keep your head during a test. There can be a lot of pressure on you to succeed, but remember that stressing out works against you. You risk panicking and/or forgetting information you’ve studied.
Dump your brain. When you first get your test, write down any information that is difficult to remember such as formulas, dates, keywords, etc. on the back of the test. Then, you can reference it while you’re taking the test without worrying if you’ll remember it correctly.
Skim through the entire test. When you first get your test, skim through the entire test and answer all of the questions that you can answer quickly and easily.
Skip the questions you don’t know. Don’t waste time on questions you’re unsure of. Mark them with question marks and move on.
Double check your work. If you have extra time after you’ve finished the exam, take a few minutes to double check your answers, make sure you’ve followed all the directions, and haven’t skipped any pages.
Look elsewhere on the test for answers. Sometimes the answer to one question may be found on another section or question of the test worded differently.
Pace yourself. Being able to take a test quickly yet carefully is essential. If necessary, wear a watch or periodically keep your eye on the clock so you are aware of your time left. Also, don’t get anxious if you hear other students finishing their tests early.
Ask questions. If you’re confused about the wording or meaning of a question, ask your professor. Don’t risk getting a question wrong because you misunderstood it.
Carefully read all of the directions. Most students get a lot of points taken off because they were careless and didn’t fully read all of the directions.
Follow your gut instinct. Most of the times when students second guess themselves, they choose the wrong answer.
Relax. It is important to keep your head during a test. There can be a lot of pressure on you to succeed, but remember that stressing out works against you. You risk panicking and/or forgetting information you’ve studied.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Consequences of Stress
I am in a psychology class this semester, and recently we discussed the physical and psychological consequences of stress. Coincidentally I have been having a lot of stress lately, and I can really relate to these consequences.
Stress can affect us physically. My professor (and our book) says stress increases your susceptibility to illness. Stress decreases your body’s immune system by decreasing the number of lymphocytes (white blood cells that attack viruses and bacteria). Therefore, when we get stressed we are more likely to get sick during midterms, finals, and other stressful situations. Who knew? I can relate because as I mentioned in my last post I have not felt well lately –headaches, a lightheaded feeling, etc which is likely a result of the stress I have been under.
Psychological problems can arise from stress such as feeling anxious, out of control, emotionally drained, sad, and depressed. Our psych book gives three ways for coping with stress: 1) practice relaxation techniques such as meditation 2) finding “social support systems” basically caring and helpful friends 3) changing the way you interpret the situation or “stressor.” From my stress these past few weeks I have certainly felt anxious, emotionally drained, and a little down. I said in my last post that I was feeling better because interaction with my friends and family improved my mood. I think these coping methods are very applicable.
Our professor also talked about how having regular exercise and activity really impacts your physical and psychological health. I definitely believe this. When I don’t get to exercise for a few days because I am so busy and stressed my mood is not good. (After awhile I even crave physical activity.) But when I finally do get time to run, swim, or anything active my mood improves so much. It’s almost like this weight has been lifted off my shoulder. This shift in mood has been proven to be true. As my professor puts it when you exercise all the “good stuff” (mood-inducing neurotransmitters) gets released making us feel better. Plus your eating habit also impacts your physical and psychological health. It is important to eat right since our health and diet are linked. I know this to be true. When I am stressed I crave junk food --> I eat junk -->I feel gross --> I don’t have time to exercise -->I feel bad physically because I just ate “bad” food and didn’t exercise --> my mood is not good.
Stress causes a vicious cycle that I tend to get caught up in. It helps to see the cause of my downer moods and sickness. That way I can pay attention to what I eat when I am stressed and I can try extra hard to schedule time for exercise which will hopefully stop the harmful consequences of stress before they start.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)